It's been a long and hard week since sunday man. And yes like missy yanrong the great pointed out, mi life now more or less revolves around the army. Actually i kinda enjoyed mi stint as CDS on last sunday because the whole wingline was so quiet and peaceful and it was one of the few times in camp that i actually had time to tynk and spent time wif miself alone. It's valuable time man..especially since i started on the book that eric gave mi titled " Ordering your Private World" I realised that mi inner and private world is kinda in a mess and chaotic rite now and it can be seen in mi everyday actions. I guess tt's the reason for mi burnout earlier.

I guess i do feel bitter about some pple in mi platoon. And i tynk they can't stand mi too. And mi buddy, i tynk he can't stand mi too for wad reason i dunnoe. Mayb he tynks i'm weak? But if he considers mi telling him about how i feel about training and everything as weak, then i tynk mayb he got it all wrong. I'm juz more emotional and expressive than most pple and i tend to share wif pple mi thoughts and feelings. But i guess i shld try to keep to miself more man. I guess that's how guys communicate wif one another? Never able to speak forth their true emotions to one another coz of apparent weakness? I dunnoe. But to mi, it's strength and courage. Afterall, how many pple can openly tell others what they really tynk?

And of course there are those pple that i'm bitter about. I must learn to forgive them too. Because in Mark 11:25 " And when you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him so that your father in heaven mayb forgive you your sins" Not so much for forgiving mi sins but rather i dun wanna harbour any ill or bitter feelings towards anyone coz it's unhealthy for the soul and heart.

Juz had a talk with mi youngest sister yesterday and it was the first of its kind ever where we had brother and sister talks ( other than during quarrels or arguments ). She asked for mi opinion on some things and i juz gave her mi take on it lar..haha it's quite a funny experience but hope i can play mi big brother role well. Afterall, i neglected her quite alot when i was in sec sch jc etc..now tt i'm in army..i realised tt i appreciate mi family members alot and well sometimes i juz wanna stay home to accompany them for meals, to watch dvds etc..it's a special bonding time.

Hmmm, i dunnoe if i'm becoming more social inept, but i realised tt i do not knoe how to talk to pple anymore..including mi female frens..i dunnoe wad to tok to them about anymore..army? Hurricane katrina? Uni life? So limited! So few common areas already..it's like our lives have taken a huge divergence man..Oh well..mayb when we both start to work then we'll have more common things to talk about..

Oh yar i have to mention this!! Mi family recently bought an OSIM massage chair last week and it's damnnnnnnn shiok i tell u! And i guess it's like a curse thing..coz for mi patrol field camp on wed, i carried the dumb machine gun tripod wif mi field pack and mi sbo!! Everything weighed bout 30+kg altogether and i almost died from backache lar!! Throughout the field camp, mi motivation was to come back on friday night to use the massage chair!! but alas, the wing commander wants us all to stay back coz our stores are dirty and partly also coz he's angry tt some guy in platoon 3 lost a smoke grenade...hai...but yar the chair is damn shiok....

okok i guess that's it for now...take care folks!