busy and tired
This has really been an uber busy and tired few days which all started before christmas. Every night i was busy, and then meeting up with fiona, before she leaves for a 6 month study in Atlanta.
And for once, i got down to make another present for a friend. This is the 2nd miracle of the year. The first miracle was me making a present for the class christmas gift exchange. I also do not know what's gone into me but I have been making collages though the designs are all about the same. Tiring though! Have been sleeping at like 2+ every night and then waking up at 7+ to work. And work's been equally if not more tiring.
And not to mention that my mum's birthday was yesterday and i also had to rush out her gift. Wow man..can u imagine how busy and tiring it was? And yesterday, had to celebrate my mum's bday through a dinner and then go to send fiona off at the airport! Initially, i thought that it was all a prank, and i still had some hope that somehow you guys can turn up.
Well, my guess was wrong and i was a little disappointed at first. I guess it's expectations vs reality. And i was a little angry and disappointed with myself too. So many what ifs floated around all the time, and i found it hard to forgive myself initially. But after awhile, i guess some things do happen la, and it might not necessarily be my fault.
But well, i passed her her gift and i tynk she was touched, because as her friend of 8 years, i've not been someone who gives gifts. Worse, sometimes i even give nonsense, takes the sincerity off the giving. I remember giving her a cancer zodiac thing when she was a geminian when i was in sec3. And in sec2, i think i gave her some buddhist figurine when she was a christian. She always never fails to remind me of all these lar!
She should have reached US by now, and US is 12 hours behind us, meaning it's about 2pm 29/12/06 now. So somehow, her journey to US is like flying against time. Cool man. She gets an extra 1/2 day!
I've also been rather short-tempered recently i think, and have snapped more easily than before. But what amazed me was the event that happened tonight. I just came home from cg, tired after going back to work today, and from all the late nights, and my second sister as usual called me to pick her up. It was around 11pm at night. I was furious. And she also wanted me to send her friend home.
I'm so tired and yet i had to do it? But thinking that my mum will not sleep till she gets back, i grudgingly obliged. My mum has a constant worry for us especially when we come back late. So i was just very very angry in my mind, but somehow i guess God led me to remember of the times i scolded my sister in the car and it got all messed up with me feeling more guilty than ever, and with my sister coming home even later than before.
I knew it was my sore spot, i knew that i would surely blow up and i prayed and ask God to help me be less angry, while driving there. I also kept asking myself, what would jesus do? And then i realised that God will never ever blame you no matter how late you are, as long as you still turn up. And I was glad that God turned up, because this time, i actually said hi to both of them and smiled, and i meant it. I meant it with all my heart when i said Hi and when i smiled, nothing fake about it. And i actually talked nicely to my sister, asking her about her tournament yesterday etc.
It's a journey of faith. Sometimes it's so easy to just vent your anger, the feeling is shiok temporarily, but the scar in both persons is permanent. A little hurt everytime can be a huge hurt. It's funny how God knew I'd be angry everytime i have to send her home so late, and having to fetch her friend home, and yet i kept on having such requests. I'm just glad i decided to do it God's way, instead of my own way. Thank God that i did not hurt my sister with my words and body language tonight...
And for once, i got down to make another present for a friend. This is the 2nd miracle of the year. The first miracle was me making a present for the class christmas gift exchange. I also do not know what's gone into me but I have been making collages though the designs are all about the same. Tiring though! Have been sleeping at like 2+ every night and then waking up at 7+ to work. And work's been equally if not more tiring.
And not to mention that my mum's birthday was yesterday and i also had to rush out her gift. Wow man..can u imagine how busy and tiring it was? And yesterday, had to celebrate my mum's bday through a dinner and then go to send fiona off at the airport! Initially, i thought that it was all a prank, and i still had some hope that somehow you guys can turn up.
Well, my guess was wrong and i was a little disappointed at first. I guess it's expectations vs reality. And i was a little angry and disappointed with myself too. So many what ifs floated around all the time, and i found it hard to forgive myself initially. But after awhile, i guess some things do happen la, and it might not necessarily be my fault.
But well, i passed her her gift and i tynk she was touched, because as her friend of 8 years, i've not been someone who gives gifts. Worse, sometimes i even give nonsense, takes the sincerity off the giving. I remember giving her a cancer zodiac thing when she was a geminian when i was in sec3. And in sec2, i think i gave her some buddhist figurine when she was a christian. She always never fails to remind me of all these lar!
She should have reached US by now, and US is 12 hours behind us, meaning it's about 2pm 29/12/06 now. So somehow, her journey to US is like flying against time. Cool man. She gets an extra 1/2 day!
I've also been rather short-tempered recently i think, and have snapped more easily than before. But what amazed me was the event that happened tonight. I just came home from cg, tired after going back to work today, and from all the late nights, and my second sister as usual called me to pick her up. It was around 11pm at night. I was furious. And she also wanted me to send her friend home.
I'm so tired and yet i had to do it? But thinking that my mum will not sleep till she gets back, i grudgingly obliged. My mum has a constant worry for us especially when we come back late. So i was just very very angry in my mind, but somehow i guess God led me to remember of the times i scolded my sister in the car and it got all messed up with me feeling more guilty than ever, and with my sister coming home even later than before.
I knew it was my sore spot, i knew that i would surely blow up and i prayed and ask God to help me be less angry, while driving there. I also kept asking myself, what would jesus do? And then i realised that God will never ever blame you no matter how late you are, as long as you still turn up. And I was glad that God turned up, because this time, i actually said hi to both of them and smiled, and i meant it. I meant it with all my heart when i said Hi and when i smiled, nothing fake about it. And i actually talked nicely to my sister, asking her about her tournament yesterday etc.
It's a journey of faith. Sometimes it's so easy to just vent your anger, the feeling is shiok temporarily, but the scar in both persons is permanent. A little hurt everytime can be a huge hurt. It's funny how God knew I'd be angry everytime i have to send her home so late, and having to fetch her friend home, and yet i kept on having such requests. I'm just glad i decided to do it God's way, instead of my own way. Thank God that i did not hurt my sister with my words and body language tonight...
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